x

- " & i get jealous when some one hugs you because for a second they're are holding my entire world "









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Wednesday 13 April 2011

.

SO I JUST DIDN'T HAVE THE WORST AWKWARD TURTLE EVER.

Sunday 10 April 2011

this weekend.

This weekend has been the BEST ever! i friking love my family too much! i would do anything or them!
tbh im in one of those moods where i want to cuddle,
i really miss ross and i feel like cwtching in bed and cuggling, im sick of waiting now! all these new couples get to do this why can't i :( a cuggle.. to muuch to ask </3

Friday 8 April 2011

been a while..

Its been ages since I've been on here so this is going to be a long one!!
I don't know whats wrong with my lately I don't have a good reason to feel down, but I do , I mean looking at this charity thing in school and so many people have it bad! I have a loving family, a house, food, good school even though I moan, a good boyfriend and friends, but yet i still feel meh! I could be in a crowd of people and still feel so lonely. Today was the worst for it, some people noticed some didn't, i don't feel like im there and daze off into my own world all the time"
Alika has made my day as she wants me to go to her BBQ tomorrow but i cant :( but its nice to know im wanted! love her <3
Its bad because before i started opening up to Ross more and more and was really making progress, but lately im closing up again and i havent told him soooo much :( the thing is i want to, but i can never bring it up, i was going to tell him earlier but he texted me right before work how are you? im not exactly going to text a life story and depress him right before work right? I don't wanna moan but i know that no one will  actually read this so its ok, just nice to let it all out..
Ahh i dunno, exams are getting to me and i just cba with anyone at the moment, probz due on or summin.

Saturday 5 March 2011

been a while

havent been on here in a while..
have so much coursework!! :(
let all my emotions out today to my mamma, felt so good, i love her <3

overall mood: content

Monday 28 February 2011

emotional

Ahhh i hate this emotional moood! I have nothing to be upset over, well nothing big yet im upset. I want to let it out but you know when you dont want to bring it up randomly. I mean ross texted me saying how are you , and i said shit, and he asked why, but i didnt want to text it all so i said dw. I just want a big cuddle :( And I hate seeing one of close friends upset because of something her ex said, which was sooo rude!!
overall mood: bleh

Saturday 26 February 2011

overall mood..

I decided from now on at the end of each blog i am going to put my overall mood :) Had a nice day down my bamps celebrating Tyrells birthday <3 But my bamps and nan could tell something was up with me :/ Im letting something really small and stupid get to me but i cant help thinking about it :( My mum keeps asking whats wrong, but I can't tell her , like one of the only things i can't :/ Having a drink with her later to get my mind of things , aww i love her <3

Overall mood: confused, almost paranoid

Friday 25 February 2011

girls...

i really hate how bitchy girls are :/ No one has actually pissed me off personally,, but looking at facebook and people status's some are just horrible and mean its realy uneeded. Putting personal stuff about other people to embaress them its disgusting. Boys are so much easier to get on with bloody  hell....

time..

time is the best healer <3

x

Went to noodle box with caitlin for lunch then played on sing star :D Aww we're such kids! (L) Coursework now though :(

Thursday 24 February 2011

emotional..

Ive had a really good day today , went to lunch with ross, chris and his mum :) I was really nervous but she was really nice and funny :D Then we went shopping and watched Yogi bear. Im having one of those emotional days today. And atm I just feel like a i cba with anyone, im feeling really paranoid today, and something happened earlier hasnt helped but i think i made too much of a big deal and regret it now. From now on im just going to be there for my family and Ross, because i feel like i try and try and be there for people, but no one is ever there when i need them the most :/ I probz wont feeel like this in the morning, i hate this feeling tbh :( Towards the end of the day i was being quite off with ross which i regret because now i miss him and dont know when im going to next get to see him :( Its hard having the feeling off saying goodbye at the end of the day knowing it could be up to a week where i could next see him. Cant wait till im older and free to do what i want, i feel like such a child today :(

Wednesday 23 February 2011

Didn't know when you clicked new question it changed :( So heres my old frog story ...

There once was a bald frog who had a best friend that was also bald. They promised to be bald together forever! But one day the frog , Sam met a girl on the way to his bingo night, they talked all night long and fell in love!! She asked Sam to marry her, but only if he started to wear a wig. Sam didnt know what to do , but then suddenly it hit him BRO'S BEFORE HO'S! So sam told Lilly no and she left him. Sam and Tony were best friends forever!The moral of this story is never break a promise :D x

CUPCAKES

Ohh how could i forget!! My mammma made some LUSH cupcakes, soo yuumy <3

shattered..

Im really tired and i shouldn't be,, all ive done today is coursework, which isnt that tiring as im just sitting. Going to have a shower then straighten my hair and watch a film i think :) Looking forward to tomorrow meeting Chris's mum, but actually really nervous at the same time :P I need a new phone :( It wont let me use any of my minutes its so annoying ¬_¬

coursework..

Actually proud of the amount of work I've done today considering i was i the cba mood :) .. Only have a bit of business left to do,, and i learnt nearly all of my drama lines :D Still have all of my P.e to do!! Going to have to spend ages on it :( Oh and art haha x

home alone..

So im home alone again :( Urggh i really hate being home alone, not because im scared, well i do freak myself out, i just dont like the feeeling :( I would be so terrible if i lived on my own, which i NEVER want to do ! Not gonna be a good day today,, going to do business coursework, hopefully finish it all :( Then start on P.E :'( x

Tuesday 22 February 2011

:/

Hate it when you read something and you wish you didnt, and your stomach drops :( Im in a weird mood tonight, im going from one extreme to the other, i think its because i didnt get any sleep last night. Bed time for me now, have a bit of  a lay in then coursework all day tomorrow, oh the fun :( </3

soo so cutee!!

Such a lush picture!! From the best film ever dirty dancing! Aww i find this picture so romantic, anyone else it would look dirty but i find it sooooo cuute!!! I would love to live in times like in this film <3

lyrics i love but my family would have a heart attack if i put them on fb :L

Cause I may be bad
But I’m perfectly good at it
Sex in the air
I don’t care
I love the smell of it
Sticks and stones
May break my bones
But chains and whips
Excite me [8]

Two G's In A Pod!! :D

Another lush day :) Had Ross round for a bit today, can't put this on facebook so its nice to say on here :) It was nice because it made me think what it would be like if we lived together <3 We then went into town shopping and he treated me to Nando's! I feel spoilt [a] Love how little things make your day, we were walking through town + i felt a right mess and he turned around and said " your just absolutely beautiful" and it gave me butterflies and make me feel all weird ( good weird ) like when we were first going out :P Then he bought despicable me and we went back to mine and watched it with my mum dad and brother :D Oh and i saw my uncle in town who is the same age as me who i havent seen since i was 5! :S So that was weird for me I hope i see him soon again. Looking forward and nervous at the same time to meeting Chris's mum on Thursday :D xx Oh and haha a new phrase i leant from Ross which i love! LIKE 2 G'S IN A POD HAHA xD

:)

With Caitlin,Charile and Alika atm. I look like shit! But dont really care tbh learnt to deal with looking like crap without mah makeup :') Leaving in a bit to go home and get ready then have Ross round for a bit before we go out <3 Had a good night. Bummed though as Josey invited me round hers tomorrow and i cant go because of stupid stupid coursework :'( Hopefully she'll get all the girls round again soon and i can go <3

Monday 21 February 2011

:)

Had a text from Wendy saying to have a nice night which i thought was really nice :) Also had one from my mamma <3 Just watched ANTM with Alika, Caitlin and Charile :) Cant believe she went! :( now watching glee,, i actually like it tbh! its not that bad haha :D 

at caitlins (:

Had a nice day in town with Charlie + Caitlin, bought a lush top from Urban Outfitters for £10! :D Round Caitlins atm with Charlie and Alika <3 Waiting to order an Indian then get films from blockbusters! Gonna be a good night (L) xxxx

Random Question..

Blogger just gave me a random question ;D And im actually proud of the story I did with the frog and the wig haha :D Omg im such a kid, giggling at the facebook group... DUDE SHE CALLED YOUR FAT... OH HELL NO HOLD MAH CAKE!! LOL that is something i would say :L <3

summer!

SUMMER SUMMER SUMMER! <3
Im in one of those moods where i cant stop thinking about summer!!! I cant wait!
Im going to America with the school, Coming back then going to Portugal, With Jamal ( my brother ) mum and dad :) <3
Then from both those holidays coming back and having no stress of exams!! I really really really cannot wait!! (L)

another thing i would like to happen...


        This summer i want to go on a picnic with ross :) fair do's he did tell me before he planned a surprise one for our half a year anniversary ;D But it rained :( I loved the fact that he thought of it because as well as the walking on the beach at dark thing, I've always wanted to have a surprise picnic, i find them so romantic! Im not one of those girls who is like money, restaurants blah blah. I mean i love nando's but i recon, romantic stroll on beach or through park with chippy is just as lush!! <3 I suppose thats just the way my parents are and how ive been brought up which is good! (L)

disney channel

One of the best parts of half term is getting to watch non stop disney channel!!! :D Plans for today ; speak to ross before he goes to work ,, shower, get ready, meet charlie and caitlin in town, sleep round caitlins.I was speaking to Lloyd the other day, and he was saying how theres no such thing as a bad memory because there is good in everything. I can see where hes coming from but i disagree but you dont know the memories some people have and trust me there is NO good what so ever :/ And it best to just forget sometimes <3

Sunday 20 February 2011

wow..

Just saw a picture of Josey's mum before, she looked exactly like baby from dirty dancing! amazing !! <3

film..

no longer watching the film with my mum tonight as shes tired. I told her to go to bed because i could see she's not well,, kinda gutted as i was looking forward to it but we're going to watch it tuesday instead now. Waiting for ross to finish work, speak to him then off to bed i think.

completely forgot !!

Have to let this out... i completely forgot up until just now :L First time in ages ive been embaressed today ! And it takes a lot to embaress me, i went red and anything!! Still feeling slighty embaressed over it.. but leaning towards the funny side! :L

some good comes out of facebook....

I can be your facebook stalker...
I can click away the pain...
I will be on your wall forever!
You cant take my mouse away! (8) ..
actually made me LOL! im singing as i type :L
and...


I was thinking bout us, thinking bout meat,
Thinking bout food, what we go'n eat,
Open my eyes yeh, it was only KFC!... (8)


HAHA :L xx

bummer..

Just found out Ross is working tomorrow, which is a bummer :( I really miss him + seeing him today for like 3 hours made me realise how much I love being in his arms <3 Also having a free house tomorrow morning is gonna be a bummer as I hate being home alone :/ Caitlin has invited me to sleep round hers tomorrow with Charlie which is nice of her :) I'll give her a ring tomorrow to let her know. Film with mamma starts at 11, looking forward to it :) Oh and yeh thats another bummer, Ross is off Tuesday, but i have family down :/ I hate the fact when ever hes off im busy, it sucks </3 On facebook atm, the only thing i really do on there is speak to Wendy (L) And im so annoyed this boy i met like 2 years ago ONCE keeps emailing me saying how he fell in love and wont stop thinking about me, urgghh get a grip please! People like that really irritate me!! Clearly says on my facebook in a relationship jeeeez ¬_¬ This is like my first negative blog, i hope there wont be a lot more, but its nice to let everything out, no matter how cheesy it feels xD

lush day!

I had a lovely day today! Went up Ross's house at 12 , saw him for a while before he had work at 3. He looks very sexy in his work clothes! :P It sounds stupid but it was upsetting watching him go to work because i wanted to just cuddle him all day. We were saying how lush it would be if he came back from work and i was waiting because i could sleep :) After he went to work I played  frustration with his nan, mum, and Cindi. We then had another game later with Ben :) I won both times muhhaha!! :D Aww i love his family and i love how i can just be myself also how Chris ( his dad) just picks on me, in a funny way of course! Shows how he knows me as all the men in my family do the same!!. Funnyest thing ever playing boy,girl,fruit , flower and wendy goes lemon meringue pie, i mean why not just put lemon? i couldnt stop giggling !! :L Hopefully get to see him tomorrow :) Looking forward to watching case 39 with my mum later! <3

Saturday 19 February 2011

:)

had a really good day today. went up my bamps and had a lush day with the fam :) then went home and had an idian with ma mum, dad and bro :) had some malibu and juice just now, not a good mix with curry, feel really sick now :( waiting for celebrity juice now then bed! seeing ross tomorrow, going up his for lunch, but he has work at 3 :( but some time is better than nothing <3

Friday 18 February 2011

one thing I've always wanted to do...



I really don't know why but for years one thing I've always wanted to do is walk along the beach at night, not late but when its getting dark but the sun is still out, so can see all the pretty colours in the sky :P I think mainly because i always see it on films and it looks so so lush! It seems so romantic. Well now that I have Ross, maybe it could happen this summer if im lucky (L)

today..

Today was a really good start to half term! :) I went to noodle box with Caitlin, then met up with Alika, Katy and Tia and watched King's speech, not going to lie i really didn't want to watch it. But it was amazing!  I will be buying it as soon as it comes out <3 Sounds stupid but even though i saw Ross last night, i really miss him and feel like i havent seen him in ages :p I feel bad that i can't make it to Michael's birthday meal tomorrow as im going to see my bampy because i havent seen him in weeks, but i shall text Wendy to wish him a happy birthday :D Speaking of which me and mum would like to take Wendy to Nando's for her birthday, she is going to text me and let me know as work is busy atm. Dreading the amount of coursework that needs to be done :( Business, P.e , Art, Drama,English,, too much work! :'( . Im so tired, trying to stay up till ross finishes work though, hopefully it won't be at 12, i get so annoyed with myself, i stay up then as soon as he replys to the text i fall asleep , hopefully he will ring me :D and that will wake me up if im sleeping :( :L x

pics from last night


picturs from last night :) can't put the one of me and ross kissing of facebook because i have family haha, so thought i'd put it on here <3

day off...

No idea what im doing today , want to do something though. Woke up at like 10 , was gonna go back to sleep but ross said last night he was going to pop by before 12 , but he didn't :( Hopefully get to see him tomorrow as its Michael's birthday, but I think i have to go up my bamps. And everyone is going into town to watch Paul,  hate it when things happen nd i can't go :( Im hungry.... Going to ring caitlin to see if she still wants to go noodle box :)

Thursday 17 February 2011

today ! (L)

Today was one of the best days I have had in ages! Spent most of it in school with Josey + Charlie which was lush as we were just having a laugh, talking and singing songs from grease, high school music and dirty dancing! Then after school was amazing! I have the best boyfriend ever! We went down cardiff bay, watched tangled and went to nando's! He even asked to take a picture in the same spot as last year on Valentines Day. + he said happy our valentines day :P which was soo sweet and cute!! Things are lush between us and we grow closer to eachother each day :D

Wednesday 16 February 2011

welsh! :(

I've only had this for hours and im on my fourth blog haha, its not going to be like this every day xD Doing welsh homework atm its sooooo much work just for a C! I dont see the point in welsh, waste of time, im never going to use it again, so not worth it :( On the plus side im speaking to Wendy ( Ross's mamma) on facebook chat, i love our conversations they always cheer me up ! (: But i'm soo tired , bed for me soon i think ,, don't even know what lessons I have tomorrow :/ My eyes are killing, should wear my glasses more, my own fault i suppose. Well goodnight (L)

bye bye cathays...

The end of year 11 is getting closer and closer :( I only just realised today how close our exams are, we're getting our reports soon + we dont normally get them till about June :/ Im so not ready to go to college, im looking forward to it of course, but I feel too short and small to go, I mean i still feel 13 at times :p I would like to stay at Cathay's for certain teachers, mostly business with mr george! but they jus treat you like children! and i want to get away from all the little screaming kids in the corrador ( i sound old haha ) and get away from bitchy sixth form girls! but im not going into that now :P St.Davis is so close, thats if i get in... time really does fly :(

new trousers I bought ( mentioned in earlier blog ) x

tomorrow!!(:

       Really looking forward to tomorrow :) Even though its late me and Ross are going to celebrate Valentines Day as it was his friends birthday party on Monday and it being a school night wasn't very good. So tomorrow is good as I have no school Friday :D We're going down Cardiff Bay ( my favourite place! ) I was showing the picture of the chocolates and rose petals i left on Ross's bed for a surprise on valentines day to the girls in welsh today, and they were like omg did you sleep!? haha i wish :D! I had this lush dream last night where my parents went on holiday and my brother was at his friends + i had no where to stay so i stayed at Ross's haha xD but then i woke up :( couples who got snowed and stuff before so lucky! i would love to be able to wake up knowing im in the same house as my baby, even i slept on a sete or in the kitchen haha!! <3 But i can't moan i mean my dad has come a long way! from not wanting me to have a boyfriend at all, to meeting him, letting him in the house, and even trusting us alone at times ,so its well  worth the wait <3 and my mum said something very promising the other day! so s'all good :D
    But about tomorrow,I even bought new trousers today to wear, only thing is i love them on other people but dont't like them on me, too paranoid as they're those baggy ones that ar tight at the bottom, they're in atm :D Ahh well lets hope they look nice (: Excited as T.G.I Friday's emailed me today! They have no jobs going atm but still an email is better than what I've ever had to any jobs ive applied for, i'd love the work there, yuum yuum <3

first blog :)

I've wanted to make a blogger for ages now but never got around to it , but a lot of things lately made me consider making one :) The main reason is facebook! You can't put anything on these days without some one saying something, i hate it :( people complain that others moan about life stories, but i mean so what? if they want to get it out, as long as its not bitchy then why not say how you're feeling? i mean it does say "whats on your mind" I suppose i made blogger to just let feelings out because i feel paranoid putting anything on facebook + looking soppy/stupid :/ Sounds stupid but I feel so much better already just writing this <3 Other reason I've made blogger is now Ross works I don't have someone to moan to as much and just let stuff out and it gives me something to do with all this extra spare time :D Of course have to meantion Josey! Reading her lovely blogs made my decission to make a blogger <3